THE SCOOP ON POOP

Most of you who know me probably think that I'm going to blog about bathroom stops during runs. I'll save that one for another day! Here's the scoop.....

A few weeks ago, my partner Lisa and I were walking our two dogs around the block.  She had one and I had the other.  We were only a few houses away from finishing our walk, when the neighbor (I’ll call him “Joe”) across the street came out of his house to chat with Lisa (I was lagging behind by about 10 meters chatting with another neighbor).  I noticed a lot of hand motion going on with Joe as he talked with Lisa, so I made my way up to get in on the conversation.  Turned out that he was making it absolutely clear that he did not want our dogs on his lawn, nor does he want our dogs to pee or poop on his lawn.  This point has always been pretty clear to us, considering he has signs all over his lawn that say “NO DOGS ON LAWN!”  We’ve never allowed our dogs to step a paw on his lawn.  Apparently, however he saw our dog, Balto, pooping on the lawn next to his – and he didn’t like that either. 

Getting "the picture" yet?

 

Balto has a bit of poop anxiety in that he’d really prefer to go in private, where no one can see him. Getting him to poop in our crowded neighborhood is always a struggle. There just aren’t enough places for him to find his own space. He’ll hold it in to the very last minute, until he begins to go into the poopy panic and pant.  It’s a gift when he finally goes (yes, poop can be a gift), but it’s so painful, out of fear the neighbors will be upset,  to have to pull him away from lawns when he’s just about to go. I get it. Some folks don’t want pee burn stains on their lawn, nor do they want other dogs pooping on their property, even if it is cleaned up.  I understand. For the record, we ALWAYS clean up! Always.

 

Back to my story.  So, one evening I was walking Balto alone and he did his usual, hold it in to the last minute thing. When the anxiety of no longer being able to hold it set in, he pooped on the side of the lawn of the house next to Joe's. There was nothing I could do but let him do his thing. Apparently Joe must have been looking out his screen window, and saw this. He also saw me pick up the poop AND he witnessed Balto peed on the telephone pole across from his property.  His comment to Lisa during the conversation I witnessed was this; “Your buddy, you know, your running buddy, allowed THAT (pointing to Balto) dog to poop on this lawn (pointing to side of the neighbor’s lawn).  Lisa’s response was, “Well this is not your lawn and we never let our dogs on your lawn. We also always pick it up the poop and I’m sure that Martha picked it up.”  Joe came back with, “Well she did not pick it all up.”  Okay, this is totally not true. I picked it all up … to the point I was scraping the grass with the bag.  When I finally approached the two of them to get in on the conversation, he reprimanded me, telling me not to allow my dogs to poop or pee on his lawn, NOR can they pee on the telephone pole across from his house.  I told Joe that I never allowed my dogs to do business on his property. He went on to tell me about him witnessing Balto poop on the neighbor’s lawn … and that kid’s play on that lawn sometimes ….. so don’t let my dogs on that lawn.” 

This one says, "keep off the grass."

 

 

I was so stunned that I wasn’t sure what to say.  My first thoughts were, “Really? Is this what matters to you?  Is this kind of thing that causes stress in your life?  Is this how you spend your time – watching and waiting to see if dogs poop on or near your property?”  I decided that this was a battle that wasn’t worth fighting. I felt sorry for Joe. I felt sorry that he had such misery and anger in his soul. I ended up putting my hand on his shoulder and simply apologizing and walking away.  I felt he didn’t deserve to take any of my power or energy from me over this ridiculous scenario/situation.  What did sit with me was his reference to me as Lisa’s “running buddy.”  I did not learn of this comment until we got back to the house.  It’s pretty clear in this neighborhood that we are partners who own a home together along with two dogs who occasionally can’t hold their poop in long enough to make it to the park a few streets away!  I do plan on letting him know, for future reference, that Lisa is not my running buddy, but rather my partner in life and in marriage.  He’s going to have to get over that one.  I’ll stand up for us on that one.

 

The point of this story is that I am constantly reminded of how many people miss out on what’s really important in life - what’s really GREAT about life.  I’m reminded of how something so insignificant can cause such stress in one’s life. 

 

What REALLY MATTERS IN LIFE FOLKS? What matters to you?  Here’s a few on the top of my list:

 

• That I am providing value to others (enrichment of their lives) and feeling valued in my life from my job and my relationships.  This is huge! If I don’t feel valued in my personal relationships, it’s not worth cultivating.  I’ll walk.

• To remind myself of all that is going well and is good in my life. To appreciate those things and be grateful for them – especially when I experience times of indecisiveness or am on the verge of resigning into a crappy mood.

• Being kind. Being honest. Being real.  Take off the mask people.

• Simplicity.  I don’t like having a lot of stuff.  Things don’t matter. What I do with my life and the relationships that I cultivate do matter.  I could be happy living in a 500sq foot home. I don’t because I’m not sure that Lisa feels the same way! Actually, I am sure. It’s true that “all you need is love (and a garden).”

• Authentic conversation. I don’t enjoy small talk – although it’s a great, and sometime necessary skill.  I’m not a big crowd, social person. I like one-on-one – let’s face each other and talk about stuff below the surface.  Ask questions. This is what best friends and close family members are good for in life.

• Times of silence.

• Having people in my life that listen.

• A big belly laugh … the kind that makes it hard to breathe or stand up straight. They are hard to come by.

• Dark chocolate with almonds and a glass of wine at night (not necessarily together … but that’s good too). They matter to me.  Simple pleasures.

• The freedom and joy of taking an outdoor shower.

• My health and the fact that I can move, sweat and get my heart rate pumping .... especially during a run in the warm summer rain.

• Having and expressing compassion - especially for dogs …. And especially for dogs with poop anxiety). 

  


I need poop privacy



Nothing like peeing in the kiddie pool.





I Run for Life

Our neighbor across the street, “John,” lost his wife to breast cancer last February. He’s from Pennsylvania, but has owned the home across from ours probably since his two adult boys were children. This was the first summer and early fall that he has been here alone – in an old, modest home that they took care of together.  A home that is filled with everything that is theirs.

I remember seeing her from time to time last year, when she was going through treatments for the second time. The first time was nine years ago after her initial diagnosis. She went into remission, but the cancer came back and had spread to her brain. I never had the chance to get to know her because we are relatively new to the neighborhood. When I talk to John about his wife and her fight with cancer, he referred to the process as “our cancer.” When he mentions the type of cancer, he notes that “they had the Her2 positive cancer cells.  They battled cancer together.

Every morning, at the crack of dawn, I see John head out for his routine bike ride on his old beach cruiser with the cobwebs under the seat.  He wears the same beige cap, t-shirt, khaki shorts, white tube socks and black sneakers.  Every afternoon he treats himself to lunch at the famous “Crab Trap” restaurant just over the bridge.  He claims that he’s getting a belly, but that doesn’t stop him. In the late afternoon he sits on his front porch in a chair that looks worn to perfect comfort and listens to the radio (usually a baseball game, or tunes from the 70’s) with his dog, Muffin at his side.  At 5pm, he walks Muffin to the dog park where she meets her best friend “Tulip” for some playtime.

He’s been traveling the world most of the summer, by himself (Canary Islands, Ireland, England, and is heading to Alaska this fall).  I know that he misses his wife very much. I know that he talks to her, feels her presence and knows the signals (thunder for example) of her voice speaking to him.  He blurted out the sentence, “YOU’VE GOT TO LIVE LIFE,” the other day when we were talking…. And I know he’s doing just that.

I decided a couple of months ago that I wanted to work on my running fitness and hop in some fall 5k and 10k events. The last year I can remember running a string of fall events was in 2009. The biggest driving force behind my recent decision to get out and push again in my run training was gratitude. I’m grateful for my life, for being alive, in good health, and having the ability to push my body. Pushing well beyond the comfort zone is a unique experience, and one that makes me feel totally alive and present.  I’m sweating, my heart is pounding, I can hear my breath and feel my muscles putting out every bit of energy. It is during these times that my body and mind are completely engaged and at a heightened state – totally alive.

 

“Pushing” is a love hate relationship on both physical and mental levels.  Let’s face it, intervals are hard. Racing a 5k is hard … well at least as hard as you’re willing to make it.  In order to get faster, you must be able to work through paces and efforts that make you sometimes feel like giving up. It’s hard stuff, but stuff that makes you more resilient to the demands of over-reaching in a race. There’s a certain level of confidence and personal growth that comes from getting through events or workouts that push us to the edge. The fitness gains are just as rewarding. Personally, I feel that it’s good to force yourself to work through discomfort from time to time. Training and racing, for me, remind me of what it’s like to “go there.”  It’s a metaphor for life when you think about it.  Let’s be honest and admit that at any moment, we can be blindsided by an event or news that could rock our world. We need to be prepared to push through messiness, feel all of the emotions that come with the mess and experience the discomfort.   I think the curve balls that life throws at us serve as a reminder that we are never allowed to just settle into a comfortable pace for too long.  It would be nice, but life does not work that way….. Ever.

 

This past weekend, my partner and a friend of mine did a 5k that raised money for health services for women who are fighting breast cancer.  We had a lot of fun, dressed in pink, wore frizzy pink wigs, danced at the post race party and laughed a lot!  I also made some wonderful new connections.

 

 

 

During the 5k, I opted to run without the wig so that I could actually work at a hard effort without pink hair getting in my mouth. We all fought the relentless headwind for the first half of the race on a wet, slippery boardwalk. I set a time goal, but got nowhere near it. I did, however go to that place of discomfort, which was my primary goal. I went there as a reminder of what it feels like to hurt.  I went to that place as reminder that this kind of fight is nothing compared to the fight against cancer.  I went there as my personal message of ‘I’m fighting for you” to those who are dealing with their very personal battle with cancer.  I went there as a reminder that, and as Mellissa Ethridge sings in one of her hit songs, “I run for life!”

LEAPS OF THE HEART

 

Anyone who knows me well knows that I’ve made some crazy decisions in my life.  I’m not afraid to put it out there and say that I’ve taken some leaps that probably caused for some serious local town gossip and questioning as to whether or not I knew what I was doing. The honest truth is that I never really knew what I was doing. I’ve made the majority of my decisions, or chosen my path based on an unexplainable “pull” of energy. I’ve never been one to sit and really calculate or analyze the risks of making a certain decision. I’ve always known, however that all decisions have consequences, both good and/or bad.  My leaps usually come from the heart and not the head.  I chalk it up to being born with a very active right side of the brain and a rather quiet left side. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve put myself in places and situations that have caused long periods of emotional angst.  At one point, I totally lost touch with myself, my core and those things that made me Martha! The flip side of that period is that I was forced to get to know myself on a much deeper level than before I entered that space.  I came out of it with a greater understanding of what was important in my life and have since based many of my choices on the number one importance; CONNECTION.

My intuition has always spoken loud enough to tell me when I was not feeling connected. I finally started listening. I listened as it spoke to me about connections concerning my friendships, partnerships, career path, how I chose to spend my time and who I spent it with.  If I’m not feeling deeply connected to what I am doing or who I am spending time with, I chuck it out the window or make a change in my life to allow for connection.  My life would feel empty without it.

I love my job of being a coach, however there’s more to what I do than just providing a training plan. If someone is looking for “just a plan” with all the whistles and bells of wattage and heart rate zones, they can go somewhere else. That’s not what coaching is to me. Sure, I provide all of that, but what really matters is the CONNECTION between myself and the people that I coach. We develop a relationship and grow together.  We go through the rough spots and the high spots together. We talk things out, often diving into life outside of training and racing, which certainly affects how I create a plan that allows for balance. We work together in building the courage to take leaps outside of the comfort zones. Relationships take work and energy. Many coaches don’t care to get that messy. Creating a black and white plan is easier and perhaps more lucrative.  To each his or her own is what I say to that.

I moved from my hometown of Northampton, Massachusetts to Ocean City, NJ a couple of years ago. It’s not the first time. I lived in New Jersey before (for about 4.5 years) and then moved back to Northampton. I needed to get back to my grounding place, my community, my family and all of the smells and sights of New England that I missed so much. I moved to Ocean City because my partner is from here and missed it very, very much (she moved to MA for me).  We took the leap. My heart said to go for it.  We have lovely home here, I can see the bay from my house, walk on the beach or jog on the boardwalk looking out at the ocean every single day. I’m gradually becoming connected to this community although most folks know that I miss Northampton, the Hilltown communities and the Valley like mad. It’s certainly not a secret. I miss the local coffee shops with the fresh baked goods. I miss driving by the community gardens. I miss cycling on the country roads and long ascents that take me along rushing rivers or falls. I miss the eclectic community. The good news is that I can visit often and get my fix.

With all this being said, I know that as long as I am feeling deeply connected to my partner I can live just about anywhere. The leap of moving to Ocean City has forced us to remember to connect with each other. I’ve become a better partner because of the move. I know when the line is slipping and am very sensitive to the signs. We all get busy, distracted and into our own separate routines. It takes some vulnerability to reach out and say “Hey, we need some time. We need to reel in and catch on to what’s most important in our lives.”  Sometimes you’ve got to roll up your sleeves and put your hands in the dirt. It’s called feeling and connecting kids!

Speaking of putting your hands in the dirt – I planted my first garden bed a couple of months ago. I’ve always been slightly overwhelmed by the process but decided to take the leap. I did it all in one day! Now, I get up every morning, pour myself a cup of coffee and stroll out to my tiny garden bed to see how much it’s grown overnight. Today I had my first taste of the arugula that I planted.  My taste buds danced with delight! Sounds like a line out of a food critique article, but it’s the truth. I once read that if you eat the food you’ve grown, you’ll feel more of a connection to that food. This is also the truth.

Listen, if you don’t take leaps, you aren’t living fully.  They don’t have to be huge, life changing leaps. Planting a garden was not something I consider a massive leap, but the act of creating, planting and sustaining a garden was cause for a bit intimidation on my part. I leaped baby! Greater leaps can force us to face our fears and take us through or to difficult spaces in our lives. We are left alone to figure things out and really work hard to see the process through to the other side or to the next path (which can be totally awesome). The more you leap, the less scary change becomes in your life.  Let’s face it, nothing ever stays the same. You should all know this by now.  You have to learn to confront fears and move on.  You must be open to being vulnerable to a multitude of feelings and sitting with them for a period of time. Taking leaps also mean PAYING ATTENTION to the greatest gift that they can provide – THE LESSON. I know people who avoid making difficult choices or taking leaps because they choose to stay in a “safe” but unhappy place. I don’t blame them. I get it and some situations are very complicated. However we really do all move on and get on with life. Sometimes changing your situation forces others around you to discover their true path of happiness.  You create your own happiness or unhappiness, not others. You are the driver. If you know or feel like you are driving down the wrong road, if you feel a "pull," consider take a turn. 

2nd Chances

The picture shown above is from a race that I did in Austria in 1998 (at least I think it was that year). The run was a two loop, 5k course which involved a grassy, ski slope hill that was SO steep, most of the pros hiked up it. Heart rates were off the charts even at a fast walk up that monster.  Thanks to my ex-husband as well as my former coach, who got me hooked on cross country skiing, I used an arm pumping technique similar to skiing that got me up the hill at a fast hiking rate. All was going well this day until my soleus seized up in what turned out to be a pretty bad strain. I felt it coming on during the 2^nd loop and it halted me in my tracks while hoofing up that hill. I had to pull out.

 

What most people don’t know about me is that I actually had to walk away from the sport of triathlon from both a mental and physical perspective, for several years. I sold or donated most of my equipment to those just getting started. I wanted nothing to do with the sport and for a time and lived a completely different life away from that identity of a competitive athlete. What people also don’t know about me is how devastated I was when my races went horribly. I was brought to my knees upset because I felt that I had invested so much of my time, other people’s time, and money (I looked at it as a career) into being one of the best triathletes in the country and in the world.  I have only recently been able to reflect on my racing career. I had countless setbacks from either injury or crappy races that would throw me for a mental loop, forcing me to come up with reasons as to why I should keep going in the sport.  You see the scar on my left shoulder in this picture? That scar is from a crash at a world championship event in New Zealand the previous year. It took me out – literally. Another devastating day, miles and miles away from home. Another setback which made for a long flight back to New England. There were a lot of tears to say the least.

Despite all the setbacks (the year+ of insomnia, the injuries, the races where I doubted myself and struggled, or the few where I was forced to pull out), I always got back up. I GOT BACK UP.  I’m not sure how, but I did and kept on fighting. I'm so glad that I did, because I also had many great race experiences! More importantly, I became a strong and resilient PERSON, not just as an athlete.  We’re talking super resilient here.  Look, there is always another chance. You can either grab the hand of chance and pull yourself back up, or you can bury your head in a big dirt hole and stay stuck there forever. The choice is a no brainer in my book.

You know why I really like the picture of me in this blog? I like it because I was working so hard to get up that hill.  Unfortunately, the race did not go my way but hey, I got up the hill once I got over my disappointment. That was a steeper and much harder hill for me.  I also have bad scar on my shoulder. That scar represents the fact that I got up and continued my racing career after being thrown from my tracks in a world championship event. 

All of us are bound to have experiences that devastate us and make us feel like we are not good enough or capable of doing something.  Life is full of those kinds of curve balls! We can flub up a job interview,  not get into the college we had hoped for, screw up on test, have our hearts broken, get into a bad relationship, say something you regret, not say something and wished that you had. The list goes on.  You always have the chance to try again or to make things better for yourself.  You must get up and try again. How lucky we are to have those chances. I see them as part of the path to "getting things right" or leading us to amazing opportunities. I am blessed for all the struggles I've faced ..... and  for taking second chances.

Live for the Goosebumps!

The pictures noted in this blog are from two of my most memorable wins during my pro triathlete career. I didn't rack up a lot of wins, but there were a couple that will always stay in my mind. 

 

The sheer joy is pretty apparent from my smile.  Now, as a coach, I get tears in my eyes and goose bumps on my skin when I watch an athlete that I work with cross the finish line with a smile. I know about hard work, sacrifice, fighting the head-doubting demons, physical and mental struggles with injury, set-backs and having to take time off. I'm aware of the time and effort (on many levels) it can take just to get to the starting line (which is a victory in itself). I know the question, "why am I doing this" that can go through the heads of some athletes as they nervously and anxiously await the start of a race. I know how hard it can be to push the limits of your body and to talk yourself through to the finish line. I know what it feels like to "be on" in a race - when all systems are firing well, mentally and physically. I know how putting yourself out there and going for something can make you feel vulnerable - especially when people are watching and have been part of your process. I get HOW SWEET IT IS to feel the payoff from hard work and a long stretch of focus.  I'm here to say that it's worth it folks.  It's worth the smile, the joy, the chills, the moment of crossing the line and the inner celebration buzz that makes memories. It's worth the setbacks too - and they are part of any process that matters. 

 

 

Whether your goal is to lose weight, change your life, change your relationships, win a race, finish a race, or live out a passion - I SAY GO FOR IT! See the smile on my face? That's what the payoff of sticking to your goals looks like. My goals have long since changed, but I still focus on challenging myself often and in ways that do take me out of my comfort zone and that push me to reach.  It's called living!  Try it! Live out your life without regrets of wishing you had tried something scares you, knowing it could very well result in personal growth and opportunity for positive change.

Spectacular Signs

 

 

This Christmas morning was one of those morning that make you go “hmmmmm.”  It’s not uncommon for me, or most people for that matter, to think about those we have loved and lost, as well as those who are struggling over the holiday.  I am keenly tuned into the feelings and energy of others, even if they live hundreds of miles away.  When someone’s life of whom I am connected with is weighing heavy on them, it’s not unlike me to absorb that weight.  Sometimes, I feel as if I am right in the boxing ring with them, feeling and fighting their struggle. 

 

I choose to spend a lot of time alone. No need to pull out the tissue box or start playing your violins. Alone time is not to be confused with me being lonely.  I choose to spend a great amount of my time each day alone, away from “life noise” so that I can process my thoughts, reflect, express silent gratitude for all the positives in my life, and recharge my internal energy battery.  I spend time alone to recharge often so that I can be one hundred percent present with and available to others.  I choose time of solitude so that I am better able to share and radiate positive energy when I am present with and available to others. My hope is that this energy is absorbed and spread – like a bee spreading pollen for germination.

 

This Christmas morning, I decided to take a long walk on the beach.  The weather was the perfect kind of crisp, clear blue sky winter morning – I felt completely alive being out in the sun, close to the water and the waves. I also felt some form of energy source pulling me to the beach today. Normally, I’d head out for a jog or perhaps hop on my bike trainer to work off the hundreds of calories of Christmas cookies that I’ve been consuming. Today, however I was called by some force, to the beach.  Now, I know what’s happening here. You readers out there are thinking I’ve lost it and that you need to come to the Jersey shore ASAP to save me from going over the total deep end.  No, I didn’t “lose it!”  I actually connected with the spirit of Christmas …. Or frankly, just the spirit and power of energy connection.  Here’s how it went down.

 

As I veered off of the boardwalk and headed onto the sand towards the ocean, I was thinking deeply about those whom I am connected with and who are struggling right now.  This walk was my alone time for the day – my time to reflect, process and recharge.  On my way to the water’s edge, I decided that I wanted to find some brilliant sea glass as a sign to all of those who are coping with personal battles that they are on my mind.  I wanted it to be a sign that I was connecting with them on a higher level – directing my energy towards them.  I then “asked” to find sea glass colors that I have never found before – specifically a BRILLIANT BLUE (as is dark blue) OR a BRILLIENT RED.  I took it a step further and asked that my mother send me this sign – this piece of brilliant sea glass.  My mother passed away when I was ten years old. I always think of her over the Christmas holiday and she had been on my mind this morning when I woke up.  So, off I went walking down the beach by the water’s edge at a moderate pace (not lollygagging).  My only focus was finding that red or blue piece of sea glass. I actually spoke out loud – asking again for that sea glass to present itself to me (checking over my shoulder to make sure no one was around me).  About a mile or so into my beach walk, I saw something bright red directly in front of me.  It turned out to be a lone rose petal.  I took five or six steps more and found a couple more.  Not ten steps later did two BRILLIANTLY RED ROSES wash up to shore, right in front of me.  I took it as a sign. Despite asking for red sea glass, I was presented with two gorgeous, bright red roses.  You don’t often come across those on the beach.  As I made my way to my turnaround point, I saw the most beautiful, thick piece of BRILLIANT BLUE/GREEN sea glass laying in the wet sand. The water had just washed over it so that it was shimmering right there in front of me.  I’ve never found a combination of blue green glass like this catch.  It wasn’t the dark blue color that I was asking for, however it was certainly a spectacular find.  On my way back, I never gave up hope of finding the red or the dark blue piece, but my time was running out. Just as I was about to turn off the water’s edge and head back to the boardwalk, low and behold,  a piece of a bottle neck sat right in front of me and you guessed it, the color was dark BRILLIANT blue.  My mission was complete. I walked home with my two beautiful red roses, my unique piece of blue sea glass as well as a few other treasures I collected along the way.  I felt as if my request for deeper connection to my mother and those who have been on my mind was granted. Or, perhaps I created that energy force myself through pure thought and will.  I felt like my dog Lulu must feel when she rushes home from the beach with a piece of driftwood or a shell that she’s found on the beach.  I couldn’t wait to get home and take a longer look at my “finds!”   I did just that and then took a couple of pictures so that I could share this story with others.    As I took my coat off, I realized that I had not opened my Christmas gift that was sent to me from my father and his wife.  I unwrapped the gift to find that it was a black and white family photo of my mother, my father and my siblings from 1970.  My eyes were immediately drawn to my beautiful mother.  Today, this Christmas day, we connected.

Allowing for Flexibility within a Structured Training Plan

I’ve written hundreds of training plans over my coaching career.  I think that I can vouch for most coaches by saying that the majority of triathletes out there do not lack in the motivation department!  Many athletes come to me more than ready and excited for the challenge of attempting a first time event or the desire to ramp up his or her performance from previous years. It is my job to write out a plan that allows for balance on several levels, taking into account numerous variables such as work hours, family life, sleep quality, social life, travel etc. There is no doubt that having a clear, well thought out structured training plan takes the guesswork out and allows for training with intention.

 

One of my biggest challenges as a coach is to help athletes trust in their gut instincts of backing off if their body is telling them it’s tired or feeling off.  THIS, in my experience, is the biggest hurdle for highly motivated athletes to clear.  Sticking with the training plan is not the issue, however veering off it slightly and allowing for flexibility can be difficult. Certainly injury, chronic fatigue and potential burnout can be prevented just by listening to that inner voice which says, “I think I need to rest more today.”  That inner voice often will send an SOS signal calling for either a brief physical or mental break. Many athletes ignore these signs and feel that they must, under any circumstance, stick with the plan.  Most surround themselves with other athletes in training and feel pressure to keep up with the workouts, or feel guilty about missing a workout.  I often do my best, when reading athlete logs, to try and pull out those red flags and make adjustments. Often times, I’m pulling the reigns BACK on athletes, suggesting a workout option that is more playful and in line with active rest.  Athletes need to understand and trust that it’s OKAY to back off.  Listening to that inner voice and allowing for that flexibility can mean the difference between having a full, fun season of racing and training versus sitting on the sidelines with an injury.  Often times, the best barometer of feedback is not in watts, heart rate data or fancy graphs. Some of the best feedback comes from our gut instincts.  Finding the joy in training and being opening more flexibility in a training regimen is just as important as all the hard interval work or getting in the volume.

Here are some classic examples of listening to that inner voice:

“Suzie’s plan called for a 2800m swim with a main set of 10 x 100m at threshold pace. During the warm-up, her right shoulder was bothering her a bit and continued through the first three 100m repeats.  Suzie opted to hop out of the pool and not take the risk of adding more pressure to her shoulder. She took two more days off of swimming and felt back to normal again during her next swim.”

“Bob woke up feeling beat after a horrible night’s sleep.  He was scheduled to meet his regular, 6:30am Tuesday track group for an interval session.  His body felt off just walking around the house.  He opted out of the track session and did an easy spin on his mountain bike, exploring some carriage trails.”

“Carol has been prepping for her first ironman for the 5 months. She’s been feeling pretty tired from the past two weeks of higher volume training. Fortunately, she is on a back-down/recovery week in her plan, however she just does not feel excited about getting out for her 60 minute spin. She has not had a chance to spend much time with her non-athlete friends and misses those connections that help to make her feel balanced in her relationships.  So, she opted for a 45 minute walk on the bike path with her best friend.”

 

Often times, I’ll throw in recovery workouts on a plan for the bike that say “With a bell and a basket attached” so an athlete gets the hint that the ride should be easy and fun. Another example of one of my recovery suggestions for the run is “Run with an imaginary friend who is much slower than you.” 

 

The best advice that I can give to athletes is to speak to themselves as if they were their own best friend.  What would they say to a good friend if she or he felt pressure to so something on plan, but knew deep inside what they really needed? What would you say to your friend if he or she said that she was really, really tired and not up for doing something you had planned together?  You’d probably say that “it’s okay – we’ll get it in another time.” The best athletes, who perform well consistently, often follow a structured training plan. However, they also have learned the art of listening to that inner voice and allowed for flexibility within their plan.

The Power of Paying Attention

Me with my father

 

Recently, I had the honor of being inducted into my high school athletic hall of fame.  I was asked, as were all the inductees, to give a short speech which caused for a fare amount of reflection on my part. The actual induction was, no doubt, a very special event in my life. The fact, however that I had to spend time thinking about how I went from a shy, somewhat reserved young girl into a confident young adult was what brought greater depth to the occasion for me.  I have decided to post my speech, not as a way to boast about the honor, that's not who I am. I have decided to post my speech in hopes that the message of my story is heard and perhaps a lesson is taken away from any adult who is a part of a child's life.

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When I was eight years old, I picked up my mother’s guitar, which sat in the living room, and strummed the low E string over and over.  After a bit of time, I began singing a Halloween song that I had learned in music class to that E note.  I remember sitting for a long time in that living room, playing that guitar. My mother noticed and not too long after that day, I was signed up for group guitar lessons at my elementary school.  We played and sang in several school concerts. Playing the guitar, singing and writing songs became something that brought me a lot of joy when I was a kid. It was something I became pretty good at doing.

When was 10 years old, my mother died.  Around that time, my father began running more.  I would join him for his weekend runs on the beach when we were on summer vacation in Rhode Island. I’d follow his footprints until they washed away, then would turn around and head back to our meeting spot rock and wait for him. We’d do push-up and sit-ups after his run, hit the ocean for some body surfing and then walk back to our little rental cottage for a big breakfast.  I was probably the only kid who anxiously awaited the time of year for the Presidential Fitness Test so I could put sit-ups, push-ups and all that running to good use! I absolutely loved those few days of exercise testing and secretly, I wanted to crush the records. My father and I began running more regularly together on weekends and often entered road races together.  I can’t say that I loved those weekend runs (after-all, I was a teenager), but I knew it was our special way of spending time together.

During Junior High School, I tried to form a cross country team. Two kids showed up and lasted about a week.  So, one of the teachers would stay after school and watch me run around the fields. When I entered Northampton High School, I was the only girl on the cross country team, so I ran with the boy’s team and although I fit right in, I was always envious of my competition - those girls who were part of big teams, cheering at the starting line, painting their faces school colors and laughing a lot!  I struggled in high school. Academically, I was lost, sinking, not able to retain or comprehend a lot of the material.  I was not playing the guitar, and socially, I felt out of place even though no one on the outside would know it.

My father knew that I was struggling – especially with my poor grades.  He took me to Boston where I had some comprehensive tests done to determine my strengths and weaknesses and we came to the conclusion that I might fare better at a private school.  So, I applied to Northfield Mount Hermon, Suffield Academy and Williston.  I was rejected at both Northfield and Suffield, but Williston accepted me. I took my junior year over, which was hard on my pride, and spent two years here as a boarding student.  Boarding was the considered the best option for me because of the structured study time at the end of the day and increased opportunity for tutoring.  It felt a bit strange, considering I only lived a bit less than 7 miles away. The good thing about that was I could literally run home on weekends from time to time.

I thrived here. Williston did exactly what my father and mother did for me as a kid. The community supported and nurtured ALL of my interests. I joined the cross country and track teams, ran with both the boys and the girls teams. Greg Tuleja, my coach, was there to calm me down when I ran away five minutes before the start because I was so nervous.  Al Shaler, the boys coach, was always there at the finish line of every home meet to give me, and everyone else, a big bear hug.  I sang with the A Cappella group, played my guitar in coffee houses, made lots of friends and had teachers who were so dedicated to helping me become a stronger student. Shame on those other schools for not seeing the potential in a young adult.  Williston however, did! I wasn't at Williston out of privileged, I was there because I was a drowning kid who needed some hands to pull me out of water, towel me off, and get me standing securely on my feet.

I went on to have fantastic collegiate running experience with a big, successful, fun women’s team. I also had an amazing eight year journey as a pro triathlete and traveled all over the country and the world. 

Any success that I had was due to these three things:

1)    Support and love from my coaches, family, friends and community – a lot of it! 

2)    Daring to put my foot on the starting line – to take risks and step way out of my comfort zone.

3)    Luck that I had people close to me in my life that knew enough to pay attention and help me find my way.

The lesson that I have learned from my journey is that every child, every young adult has all these little sparks inside them which represent their passions or interests.  It is up to us as adults, parents, coaches and teachers, to help be the catalyst in turning those sparks into big, beautiful, colorful bold flames!  We need to pay attention and nurture those sparks of interest in as many different and creative ways as possible. 

I am so honored to be one of the initial inductees into the Williston Hall of fame. Thank you for considering and choosing me. Thank you for always supporting me. 

Top 15 Lessons From the Coach

These are in random order and based on my year's of experience as an athlete and a coach.  


1. Appreciate the good days. The one’s when your body feels “on” and your motivation is high. You know, those days when you feel like you are flowing. Don’t worry or beat yourself up on the days when you feel like your body has been put through the washing machine on high spin and your feeling out of sorts. If you didn't have those days, you wouldn't appreciate the good ones.

2. Cultivate support. Find a training partner or group that you really look forward to being with - one that leaves you feeling “high” after a workout, not just from the workout, but from being together and sharing in the experience.

3. If something hurts you when you start working out, and continues to hurt after 10 minutes - stop and go home.  Is it really worth the risk of long term damage to forge through?

4. Work on skills - always ... and be patient. Continue to be open to learning and trying new things. Do not fear challenging yourself in different ways. Part of the fun is overcoming the challenge.

5. Vary your workouts. Don’t get sucked into the notion that unless you’re not breathing hard, the workout isn't productive. A healthy diet means nurturing your body with a variety of nutrient rich, quality foods.  A healthy workout schedule means getting rid of “junk” workouts and replacing with a variety of purposeful ones.

6. Quality sleep is just as important, if not more than the training itself.

7. You can be the most fit person in a field, but without belief in yourself you’ll never reach your full potential.  Focus on yourself and your own performance and not what everyone else is thinking or your fears about what might happen in a race. 

8. Be competitive, but be kind.

9. Never give up on yourself. You have to be your own best friend and talk yourself 
through things sometimes. 

10. Make sure to incorporate fun workouts - such as a destination bike ride, hike or run. Take a few weeks of the year just to play and give your body a rest. Organize a game of Ultimate Frisbee or Capture the Flag. Put a bell and a basket on your bike and tootle around.

11. Find someone just a bit faster than you to push you a bit on those days you need to be pushed. Find someone slower than you to keep you honest on the easy days. 

12. Say thanks to those who show-up for those early morning workouts expecting to see you. Being accountable can be a great motivator.

13. Try not to test out new shoes, or a new bike or even a new swim suit for the first time in a race or long workout. It could be a very painful lesson. 

14. Whatever your goals are, have a thought out plan of action. It really does help keep you focused. Write down your vision or your goal in BOLD marker and keep it where you see it every single day.

15. If something stops being fun, it’s time to move on to something else or a sign to take a break or switch things up.  Don’t fight it. 

It's Not About The Medal

"Education does not exist to provide you with a job ....Education is here to nourish your soul." - Ruth Simmons, 1st female president of Brown University, 1st black president of an Ivy League School.

I recently read this quote from Ruth Simmons in the local newspaper.  Ruth Simmons became the president of Smith College just after I finished graduate school there in the early 90's.  I wish I had the opportunity to hear her speak, not only because she had already broken so many barriers, but because (from my understanding) she was very, very well liked by the college and local community. Something about this quote struck me from an athlete's and a coach's perspective. 


First, let me say that I actually do feel that education can and many times does exist as a path and means to getting a job. Her statement does, however bring out important message, which is to open ourselves to letting education feed all aspects of our being - doesn't matter what level or what kind of education (high school, technical/trade school, college and beyond).  Sadly, I think I let that part go when I went to both undergraduate and graduate school. I was focused primarily on my sport (running) and my specific studies and duties in grad school.  I let my  inner somewhat quiet passion for music and writing fall by the wayside.  I never took advantage of taking other courses that would nurture that part of my soul.  Certainly that focus of pursuing my major, being a top runner and of course, surviving graduate school was pretty important. I also went into a field that ended up being totally related to what I do for work, however I wish I had a bit more fun and taken advantage of what my educational institutions  had to offer.  I recall walking out of a day of classes and studying from the building at Smith where most of my courses were held.  I'd always walk by the music hall on my way home and hear students practicing the piano, or taking a voice lesson or playing a cello. Sometimes I would sit on a step near-by and just listen ... wondering what it would feel like if I was in one of those rooms taking a singing lesson or guitar lesson.  It was something I used to do in high school (sing and play music).  When I left those sessions I had the same kind of feeling I got when I finished up cross-country practice, which was one of being totally relaxed and somewhat uplifted! Sadly, I still have left those aspects of my earlier life by the wayside. My guitar sits in a closet in a dusty case and I have not joined any local singing groups! Maybe I'll joing "Young At Heart" if I live to be in my 80's!


I have noted in previous blogs that while I was able to compete at the top level as a triathlete, I never allowed that experience to nourish my soul completely. I was caught up in National and World rankings. I was caught up in who would be my next sponsor, how to get my next sponsor, if I would place high enough to bring home a check and how to become a faster swimmer so I wouldn't get dropped from the top tier pack in races. People often remind me that those stresses are normal for someone competing at that high level.  This is true, but so many of my competitors knew how to have fun and really enjoy the experiences of traveling, developing friendships despite being competitors, having a few beers after a race, not getting caught up in the stress of the race. I had an amazing coach for eight years who tried to remind me to connect with the full experience and have more fun, but I really feel that I was just slower in my maturity process as an athlete. Racing  for me now is not about placing or getting a medal when I cross the line. I pay that big 'ol entry fee for the whole race experience package!  I know so many that do this sport for personal recognition and for the medals.  Kind of leaves me feeling empty when I think about it! Making the choice and having the opportunity to compete and be a part of a triathlon or any athletic event is about nourishing the soul. It's about getting up at 4am to drive to a race, being a little nervous, eating strange foods that seem like a normal part of our diets (like gels and shot blocks), standing in line at the Porto-Potties and making small chat, working at the top of our fitness limits and not being afraid to do so, having a beer post race (if available), and enjoying the car ride home in stinky clothing. Now that's nourishing the soul!  I think anything we do in life and many of the choices we make must somehow nourish our soul .... at least this is how I try to live mine. 

Finding Balance

As a coach, it's easy to feel as if I've failed and athlete if she or he does not have the performance they are capable of or expect. I feel the same way if someone struggles to reach a certain fitness goal.  I tend to be pretty hard on myself with this issue and often have to talk some sense back into myself while taking a bike ride or a run.  On the same note, I share with equal enthusiam and excitement when an athlete or fitness client reaches a milestone. 

I can say with confidence that every program I create is done with great intention.  I'm also careful to consider a person's work and family life not to mention much needed "chill" time and all the extra time needed just to do things like grocery shop, get your car oil changed, walk the dogs, make meals etc.  I try to write programs that allow for balance.  I have learned that people really appreciate and enjoy having some structure with regard to their training, racing or fitness goals. It's nice to have a calendar that notes the progressive structure of  daily workouts with included heart rate/effort zone, and occasional added drills.  I have to admit, I love having that kind of structure and often feel and peform better when I do that for myself Too bad I don't that often enough!  What I can't control is what goes on in a person's life outside of the training aspect, and this is what I have to remind myself of constantly.  This is the part of my job that causes me to struggle. Wouldn't it be nice if we had a nice, neatly packaged plan that kept us balanced in all aspects of our life?  Let's face it, life is hard and we are thrown challenges constantly.  Finding balance and staying balanced is an ongoing process and sometimes it's harder than others.  As much as I feel a plan is appropriately structured for someone, I can't control if their kid was up all night vomiting, if they had to pull an extra shift at work, if they broke a toe while sleep walking or are struggling with something on a very personal level.  What I can be is compassionate and empathetic because I also have had to find and create that balance in my life over and over.  I have set certain priorities in my life which have really helped me stay in,or come back to balance when I've felt that that I was slipping.  Great performances often do not happened because "balance" just was not present in his or her life.  I find that most injuries  or illnesses occur when some significant part of someone's life is off balance. Those that bounce back, heal and regain balance the fastest are the ones who have learned how to become a resilient individual. I also fee strongly that balance can be restored faster for those that are proactive about seeking support, whether it be physical or emotional therapy. 

I recently had dinner with an athlete that I have coached for about two years. He started with me having never owned a bike and now has the typical triathlete's fifteen pair of running shoes in his garage (as well three different types of bikes hanging on his wall).  He's made some of the biggest and fastest improvements I've every seen in any athlete in a very short period of time.  With this being said, we are both waiting for him to put together that peak performance in which everything comes together  at the level we both believe he is capable of achieving.  He's come very close.  During our dinner conversation we talked about some things that make a really great performance happen.  Sometimes it's just as simple as "it just happens" when you least expect it.  More often however it happens because we set ourselves up for success.  Most people don't realize that they are sabotaging their chances of a great race or the chance of racing well on a consistent basis. This is why when someone calls me after a race and says that it did not go so well or as they had hoped, I start asking questions. Usually, the answers as to why come to the surface.  Here are a couple of examples.

The athlete I noted above who has yet to have his peak day (and it's coming) disregarded his usual pre-race plan the night before a half Ironman.  Instead of chilling, resting up and storing his mental and physical energy the day before the event, he went out on a boat with friends, did some tubing, ate poorly and just totally got away from "his game."  Part of his reasoning for doing so was because friends had come a long way to see him race and he felt obligated to hang with them, even though he knew what he really needed to do was rest up.  He sabotaged his taper and ultimately, his race. Lesson learned? Sometimes you have to be selfish the night before a race.  Another athlete I coach placed second in a race he probably should have won. Sounds harsh I know, because second place at a championship event is pretty impressive. He noted that he felt flat on the bike and had nothing on the 2nd half of the run. So, I began asking questions.  Apparently the swim was delayed for over a half an hour and participants had to sit on the beach and nervously wait for fog to lift.  I asked him if he stayed hydrated, made sure to take in calories, walked away from the nervous energy (knowing he gets very nervous).  The answers? "No," "no", and "no."  As a matter of fact, he forgot to hydrate even and eat even before the delay. He sabotaged his race.  Lesson learned?  Have a fueling and eating protocol for every scenario and go find a chill space. I will say that I have witness people who have sabotage their chances of reaching their goals out of fear of failing to be succesful. Sound twisted? It's a whole other can of goodiess for discussion.

Everyone has a different way of keeping that pre-race balance. Sometimes it takes a while and serveral experiences to figure out those elements.  I used to get horribly, horribly nervous before my races when I was competing at the pro level.  I managed to figure out that I usually performed better if I stayed with a host family (versus in a hotel).  I also found that watching a funny movie the night before relaxed me and took my mind of the pending event.  I'm not racing at that level anymore so I don't have to deal with those kinds of nerves these days, however I still try to set myself up for success by staying as balanced as possible on all levels.  What happens if the balance is thrown off by something out of our control (for example your child waking up in the middle of the night with nightmares and disrupting your sleep?)  You go to "plan B", which is to "go with the flow."  I work with a couple of athletes who are amazing at doing this and while they may not have felt on top of their game, they didn't allow the uncontrollable elements to steal any mental energy.  The balance might have been thrown off a bit, but the resiliant side of them kicked in!

I often say to athletes who are competing in and Ironman that there will be periods during the event where things will feel balanced then there will be periods of lows, when they may not feel they can take another step. It is at that point that they need to aske themselves, "what do I need?"  Figure it out, switch things up.  It's the same with life, don't you think?  When things are off balance, ask yourself what it is that you need ..... and  you will probably find an answer.